Meet BSM’s most eligible bachelors

In a pool of worthy candidates, the Knight Errant editors and writers found four eligible gems in Bobby Karlen, Mikey Lamb, Dan Lennington and Nick Austin. For the first time ever, meet BSM’s most eligible bachelors.

The+most+eligible+bachelor+in+BSM%27s+senior+class+is+Bobby+Karlen.

Chris Bell

The most eligible bachelor in BSM’s senior class is Bobby Karlen.

Jackie Lawyer and Laura Shannon

Bobby Karlen (Senior)

Knight Errant: What makes you a desirable man?

Bobby Karlen: I’m gorgeous, athletic, high-probability of being famous. You know.

KE: What is your ideal way to meet a girl?

BK: If she’s drowning out in the ocean or in trouble, and I save her. Like a shark is attacking, and I just come and beat up the shark.

KE: What Disney prince would you be?

BK: I want to be the beast!

KE: What are your hobbies?

BK: I play lacrosse, I wake surf, I snowboard, I love movies, I cook, I clean. I’m just the ideal man.

KE: Favorite chick flick?

BK: I’m obsessed with Pitch Perfect.

KE: Dream date?

BK: Taking a girl out to the countryside at night in my pickup truck and then just laying down to look up at all of the stars in the back of the truck.

KE: What song describes your love life?

BK: “Trouble with Girls” by Scotty McCreery.

KE: Current crush?

BK: Franny Peck.

KE: What’s your favorite pickup line?

BK: Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

KE: You have a bouquet of flowers. All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?

BK: Two.

KE: Would you rather be smart and ugly or beautiful and stupid?

BK: Beautiful and stupid.

 

Mikey Lamb (Junior)

(Chris Bell) Meet junior Mikey Lamb, the most eligible bachelor in BSM's junior class.
(Chris Bell) Meet junior Mikey Lamb, the most eligible bachelor in BSM’s junior class.

Knight Errant: What are your techniques to get the ladies?

Mikey Lamb: I studied the techniques of other, um, attractive men like Rooscol [Rozambert].

KE: What’s your sign?

ML: Hold on one second. [After Googling] I’m a Capricorn.

KE: What Disney prince would you be?

ML: Probably Aladdin, because he can fly.

KE: What’s your dream date?

ML: Seeing cool sites.

KE: What’s your favorite pickup line?

ML: [After Googling] I found a long list of clean but funny pickup lines. I got a list. I like number one: Is your dad an astronaut? Because someone took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

KE: You have a bouquet of flowers. All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?

ML: Um, six. I don’t know. You said all but two three times. I have no idea.

KE: What are your hobbies?

ML: I play sports. I cook, but mostly because I like to eat.

KE: Favorite chick flick?

ML: “Legally Blonde,” but only the first one because after that they just aren’t that great.

KE: What makes you a desirable man?

ML: I don’t know. I think I’m pretty easy to get along with. I guess I’m… This is a weird question.

KE: Am I making you uncomfortable?

ML: Not that much. Maybe a little bit.

 

Dan Lennington (Sophomore)

(Chris Bell) Sophomore Dan Lennington was named as the most eligible bachelor in the sophomore class at BSM.
(Chris Bell) Sophomore Dan Lennington was named as the most eligible bachelor in the sophomore class at BSM.

Knight Errant: What are your hobbies?

Dan Lennington: I often find myself wandering around in nature, pondering on many life thoughts. Then maybe I’ll go home and play some tunes on the guitar.

KE: What is your ideal way to meet a girl?

DL: It’d be kind of cool if I fell down a flight of stairs, and a girl was at the bottom. I’d be in a lot of pain, she’d be like, “I’ll fix you up real nice.”

KE: Who would play you in a movie adaptation of your life?

DL: What’s his name? The guy! Don’t write that down. Whatever, let’s just go with Tom Daley.

KE: You have a bouquet of flowers. All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?

DL: What? I guess you have some flowers.

KE: What song describes your love life?

DL: Got to go with something like really like “I’ll Die in Your Arms Tonight” by that one 80s band.

KE: What makes you a desirable man?

DL: I think I’m kind of a neat guy because I like to play songs and stuff. I’m really nice and a good guy. We can be best friends if you want.

KE: What Disney prince would you be?

DL: Lord Farquaad,* that guy’s pretty cool. He’s kind of tiny, but still pretty cool.

KE: What’s your sign?

DL: I was born in 1996 so… [Googles sign] Wait, I’m Cancer? This is terrible––this is awful. Cancer!?

*The Knight Errant acknowledges that Lord Farquaad is neither a prince nor from Disney

 

Nick Austin (Freshman)

(Chris Bell) Freshman Nick Austin was picked as the most eligible bachelor in the freshmen class at BSM.
(Chris Bell) Freshman Nick Austin was picked as the most eligible bachelor in the freshmen class at BSM.

Knight Errant: What’s your favorite pick-up line?

Nick Austin: “Hi, my name is Grant Besse.”

KE: What makes you a desirable man?

NA: My muscles.

KE: What are your hobbies?

NA: Guitar, modeling, hockey, Xbox, and girls.

KE: If you were a Disney prince, which would you be?

NA: Prince Charming.

KE: What is your ideal way to meet a girl?

NA: At Perkins, after winning a big game.

KE: What are your techniques to get the ladies?

NA: Tell them I play hockey. If that doesn’t work I got nothing else.

KE: What song describes your love life?

NA: “Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds.

KE: You have a bouquet of flowers. All but two are roses, all but two are daisies, and all but two are tulips. How many flowers do you have?

NA: Enough to show a girl I love her.

KE: Current crush?

NA: Lilly Effertz (Nick Gionet, you better watch out.)

KE: Dream date?

NA: Spaghetti dinner with Lilly Effertz and with Nick Gionet third wheeling.