BSM’s Most Eligible Bachelors

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Senior Robert “Jack” Hathaway
Knight Errant: What makes you a desirable man?
Jack Hathaway: I really don’t like these questions already, and I’m not going to have any funny answers. Uh, I’m crafty – I’m on the Crafty Crabs soccer team, and I’m really good at Latin.

KE: What is your most alluring quality?
JH: My friends call me the “navigator” because when I’m in charge of directions, you know you’re getting to the right place.

KE: What happened the last time you cried?
JH: When Abby Moroz wouldn’t take a picture with me at Holiday ball…That really hurt.

KE: What’s your worst habit?
JH: Procrastination or being late.*

KE: What joke would you tell a girl who have a crush on?
JH Feel my shirt…know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.

KE: Describe yourself in three words.
JH: Cultured. Uhh, that’s all I got.

KE: What kitchen appliance would you be?
JH: A dishwasher. I gotta stay clean.

KE: Describe your love-life in a song?
JH: “Oops…I did it again”

KE: What do you look for in a significant other?
JH: Assertiveness so they can take control.

KE: What can you bring to the table in a relationship?
JH: Nothing.

*To illustrate this fact, the Knight Errant would like to let it be known that Jack was fifteen minutes late to this interview.

 

Blake

Junior Blake Castaneda
Knight Errant: What makes you a desirable man, and your most alluring quality?
Blake Castaneda: Well, let me tell you: when I wear my glasses, girls seem to like that a lot, beautiful eyes, great hair. But I’m also deep!

KE: What happened the last time you cried?
BC: So, I was walking down the street and there was this box and I was like what’s with this box. And I looked in the box, and it was this little baby puppy. It brought tears to my eyes – it was so cute.
KE: …Is that true?
BC: Nope.

KE: What’s your worst habit?
BC: Don’t have any. I’m pretty much the full package.

KE: What fictional character do you have the biggest crush on?
BC: Cinderella, she’s beautiful and she can talk to mice.

KE: What kitchen appliance would you be?
BC: I feel like I’d probably be a spork. Because then you’re like the best of both world because you can eat soup with me and you can eat a pancake.

KE: What joke would you tell a girl who have a crush on?
BC: I like cow jokes. What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. That’s not a very good one, shoot.

KE: Describe yourself in three words.
BC: The. Full. Package.

KE: Do you think being an SLP flyer makes you a more desirable man?
BC: Of course. Like on my own I’m a solid nine, but Flyers bumps me up to about a 9.7

 

JimmySophomore Jimmy Youngblut
Knight Errant: What makes you a desirable man?
Jimmy Youngblut: I’m not afraid to be as dashing and suave as it takes to be good.

KE: What is your ideal date?
JY: Being taken to the movie Star Wars: Episode Seven.

KE: What’s your worst habit?
JY: I eat everything. I’ve been known to eat like a tree before. I was really nervous, you just kind of grab some bark and go.

KE: What are your hobbies?
JY: Um. I’m a professional owler, um I play tennis, I’m an intermediate Ping Pong player, I play–I’ve attempted soccer, and I’m a semi-professional sledder and water tuber.

KE: What’s your pet peeve?
JY: When people listen to music too loud or when people say “my bad.” That last part was for Mr Porsche; he knows I hate that. You don’t need to put that in there.

KE: Describe yourself in three words.
JY: Super Duper Suave

KE: What happened the last time you cried?
JY: Tangled. Tangled happened.

KE: What kitchen appliance would you be?
JY: The big spoon.

 

Ben

Freshman Ben Scherer 
Knight Errant: What makes you a desirable man?
Ben Scherer: Um, sorry this is tough one – I want to be humble. I don’t know what to say. People like my hair.

KE: What are your hobbies?
BS: Sports, hockey, lacrosse, I love to swim, I like to the movies, and I like to play pond hockey.

KE: What’s your pet peeve?
BS: Soft tweets on Twitter cause nobody really cares.

KE: Favorite pick up line? What joke would you tell a girl who have a crush on?
BS: Usually I get my pick lines from Jesse Johnson, and his are like I need a band-aid because I scraped my knee falling for you.

KE: Describe yourself in three words.
BS: Exciting, good-looking, and fun

KE: Who is your current BSM crush?
BS: Caitlin Reilly

KE: What’s your worst habit?
BS: I take way too many showers, that’s probably not too bad.

KE: What is your ideal date?
BS: Uh, maybe take a girl out to a movie and a nice dinner. Maybe a hockey game.