Ben Larson, Staff Writer
Ben Larson considers his claim to fame to be not his superior intellect, nor his superior sense of humor, nor even his superior looks and charm, but, rather, his promising athletic career that was cut short after a devastating shoulder injury–which you already know about if you’ve had more than a 3 minute conversation with him–pulled him to the sidelines. However, Ben continues to fight through the setback. His morning routine includes watching someone jog 4 laps on YouTube, brushing his teeth with a limited-edition Joe Mauer tooth brush, and kissing all of his middle school athletic trophies goodbye before heading out the door. Ben Larson promises he will make a full comeback to the world of sports by the year 2028 but hopes to leave his nerdy reputation behind even sooner.