Mali Arreola

The life of a male feminist is arguably harder than the life of an average woman.

BREAKING NEWS!

After reading one excerpt from The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir and watching Barbie in his Philosophy class, Benilde-St. Margaret’s senior Chad Brown came to the stark realization that women are real people. This came as a complete shock to him, and it’s clearly having a very intense effect. “I had never spoken to a woman, I thought they were where you put your dirty socks at the end of the day,” Brown said.

Brown’s friends have claimed that they’ve found him crying over Sylvia Plath’s poetry in the gender neutral bathroom,and falling to his knees when he overhears female classmates asking for a tampon. Senior Gracie White, a female peer of Brown, remarks feeling very concerned over his behavior. “This has been a really hard journey for him,” White said.

White has devoted her time to making sure that Brown feels not only safe, but comfortable with his new knowledge that women are, in fact, real people. According to White, Brown has apologized to every woman in his life and assured them that he loves women. “I’ve had to reassure him that he’s not a misogynist, but when I tell him that, he says I don’t understand how hard he has it. I think he’s right,” White said.

In order to compensate for his maleness, Brown has taken it upon himself to champion women in everything he does. He has since taken a leadership position in BSM’s Girl-Up club, lifting the burden from the current female leadership. They are definitely grateful to see such a devoted ally from the male community. “He’s passionate!” senior Claire Greene, former president of BSM Girl-Up, said.

In addition to his leadership position in the women’s empowerment club, he has also created support groups for other male students who are dealing with this existential discovery. So far, the turnout has been small, which Brown attributes to the majority of men at BSM not being as enlightened to female suffering. However, the members who have joined have found a very welcoming space to come with their problems. “Men like us never get a chance to talk openly about our feelings, so it’s really great to have a space that’s just for us—men don’t really get that very often,” junior Justin Blue said.

Despite Brown’s heroic efforts to make BSM a better place for women, he has faced some backlash from female students. Some students argue that his activism is performative, and it takes away from women’s actual experiences by making misogyny about himself. “I just think that these students really don’t understand women’s issues. If they’re saying I’m performative, it’s because I’m doing more for women than they are, and they’re jealous because they’re not as devoted a feminist as [I am],” Brown said.

We are all grateful for Brown’s contribution to solving women’s problems, and look forward to seeing what he does in the future!

Stay tuned next week: local white girl finds out that making her profile picture a black screen in 2020 DIDN’T end racism.