The ends justify the jeans

On the woes and trials of a jean junkie.

In a country that has an obesity problem and an obsession with skinny jeans, it’s imperative that you find a pair that fits well but doesn’t feel like your backpack did the first day of school. I myself have fallen victim to wearing jeans that show off my figure maybe a little too well, specifically first semester, freshman year when my ham huggers were tighter than a good majority of the girls’.

Being the trendsetter I am, I had no fashionable reference to dictate how constricting the jeans should be. So, naturally I assumed the appropriate level to be just tight enough to cut off all blood circulation to my legs. I had never been more wrong in my life. Once your jeans begin to match the strength of a boa constrictor, it’s time to throw them out.

I remember running into other problems as well, specifically with movement. On the rare occasions that we would have to sit on the floor during school, it required the equivalent skill of an EOD technician. When sitting cross legged in skinny jeans the first step of the process is to position yourself in a place where you can grab something to assist you in getting up. the second step is  to make them as stretchy as possible which is quite difficult when the jeans I wear are equivalent to the size of a 12 year old girl. The final step is to ease yourself to the ground with care and precision.

The biggest downfall of skinny jeans is the lack of your ability to run. Sophomore year during intramurals skinny jeans severally hurt my ability to compete. People were able to run past me and able to jump higher then me due to the fact my jeans were so tight that they made my legs have the flimsiness similar to that of uncooked spaghetti.

As long as you can find a pair of calf clamps that fit you well and don’t send the wrong vibe to those around you, I  would highly recommend adding a pair to your wardrobe.