Long Hair Don’t Care: One man’s quest to keep his mullet dreams alive
Senior Henry Wolfe shows off his impressive flow.
Memories of the football state championship have faded for some, but one man refuses to let the energy die. Senior Hank Wolfe, named the boldest man in the western hemisphere, has not chopped his back mane for nearly 9 months now. He is often spotted scoring touchdowns, kicking extra points, or fluffing his hair before school. He cannot go anywhere without being noticed in some way; whether that be a smile, laugh, cringe, or compliment.
It all started after the football state championship, when the team earned first place in their AAAA class. The team bleached their hair blonde and went to battle. After the game happened some guys cut it right off, but others made the decision to keep their bleach-blonde locks alive.
Always the individual, Wolfe decided to be in the middle and just keep some of it. He shaved the sides of his head and quickly turned into a new man (a Larry Enticer lookalike, some would argue). He has to maintain his tough mentality in order to steer clear of critics. Using no product at all, claims he keeps this style for one reason: “When you walk into a room and you see a guy with a euro cut and a guy with a mullet, which guy are you scared of?”
Not only has Wolfe’s hair become an epic symbol of BSM’s football state championship, but it has created somewhat of a legacy in the Wolfe household. Hank’s younger brother Eddie, was initially inspired to grow his own mullet and follow in the footsteps of his legendary sibling. It seems in this case that the student has now become the master, as Eddie’s mullet is arguably even more impressive than his brother’s.
Hank’s two other siblings, George and Tilly, have their own opinions of the mullet. Tilly is a huge fan: “I think it’s cool… I wish he would completely dye it,” she said. George had a slightly different opinion: “I hate it, it is gross,” he said.
If you know Hank, you know this mullet isn’t the first connection he has to 80’s style. He drives an ‘89 suburban who earned the name Dirty Dale. This vehicle matches Hank’s All-American swagger. Most people love long walks on the beach, but Hank just enjoys a late night cruise in Dale with the boys, mullet blowing in the wind; what a classic man.
