What really happens in the girls bathroom?
Sally Calengor exposes the secrets behind the door of BSM’s most exclusive club.
Juniors Ashley Ortizcazarin and Lauren Beh visit the girls bathroom and spend hours talking selfies and throwing shade.
October 14, 2016
We have all heard the rumors. The conspiracy theories are everywhere. I believe, my fellow girls, that it is time for the world to know the truth. It’s 2016, the year of hidden tax returns, deleted emails, and now, the secrets of the girls bathroom.
Many believe that the BSM ladies room is just like any other bathroom, but in reality, it is the headquarters for all things artsy. That Instagram picture that you thought was really cool? Born and bred during third period in the BSM girls bathroom. That Pinterest post that gave you the idea for your legendary homecoming ask? Discussed over a pair of Taher cookies that the teacher wouldn’t allow in class. Your idea to redecorate your room? Telepathically sent to you straight from the ladies in our classy “bathroom.” Even the word “artsy” originated from the hidden HQ. You’re welcome.
Not only does our female half of the student body keep your social media running, they also use the bathroom as the base for the Government Operation of Adorable and Loyal Spies, or G.O.A.L.S. for short. G.O.A.L.S. is dedicated to keeping this country safe from the posts that will totally clog up your life with things that are so not “goals.” You know, like spilt pumpkin spice lattes, shattered iPhones (or the occasional Android), and questions on tests that were so not on the study guide. The main objective of G.O.A.L.S. currently is to delete Mondays from existence, but it’s proving to be a tougher adversary than we thought.
All this work we do for the people of America and the internet is exhausting, which is why, during the recent construction over the summer, the school installed several rows of bunk beds in the bathroom just for us to take naps in during fourth hour. We definitely, absolutely, positively are NOT just sitting in there waiting for class to end.
So there it is, folks: top secret information straight from the stalls of the girls bathroom. Next time you see something artsy or save your phone from falling just remember that the inspiration or rescue came from within the walls of our very own Benilde-St. Margaret’s high school.
