Listen to what “they” say

BSM students often fall victim to the tantalizing and “accurate” facts that “they” say. Knight Errant’s Jimmy Youngblut searches for answers.


Keenan Schember

Jimmy Youngblut is unsuspectingly learning more semi-useful facts from things that “they” are saying to him, anonymously hidden in a shadow of BSM’s hallways.

People rave about what “they” say all the time. Think about it.

When teachers ask if anyone knows the answer, the class smart aleck will inevitably raise a hand and spout off some utterly useless factoid that contributes nothing to the conversation. To which, the astounded teacher and classmates will ask, “Who told you that?” Leaving the child infected with debilitating hubris to respond, “Well, ‘they’ say it’s true.”

Now this begs the question: Who is this “they”?

The entity known as “they” seems to have a lot of knowledge, but “they” are only correct around fifty percent of the time. When “they” say, for example, that “ninety-five percent of statistics are made up on the spot,” I must ask, who authorized the study that “they”  conducted? Do “they” have the proper analysts and funding to conduct a survey that would yield such data? And more importantly, doesn’t that disprove what “they” are already saying?

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A look into the slippery slope of “they” reveals even more disturbing facts. “They” can seemingly apparate from anywhere without any warning or even necessity. It’s like being assaulted by an ever present Wikipedia. Is “they” reliable? I mean, I guess. No one has disproved what “they” say yet, I wonder if there are even people trying to disprove what “they” say. Are people just blindly accepting this faceless liaison’s words as the new Gospel according to “they?”After all “they” does sound official. “They say that humans can only access twenty percent of their brain.”

That line causes people to think: “Yeah, I’d believe that, I think I’m much smarter than I actually am, and I do idealistically believe in the possibilities of superhuman powers, once one hundred percent of my mind is accessed. Therefore, I’ll trust what ‘they’ say.”

And the cycle of madness continues. Who is fact checking what “they” say?

People need to really take a hard look at the “facts” that are being suggested by this “they” group. Just because “they” use a lot of big words and are pretty darn persuasive doesn’t mean that “they” have degrees in every field of study and also happen to know every random fact about anything. I’m telling ya, even Wikipedia’s looking pretty credible when you compare it to what “they” say. Take what “they” are saying with a grain of salt, and don’t always trust what you hear.