I ate my Crocs
February 10, 2016
I pride myself in fearlessly donning my bright green Crocs, even if I’m accused of dressing like a fifth-grader from 2008. I’ve worn these colorful, comfortable, low maintenance shoes since they burst on to the scene more than ten years ago. Although waning in popularity, Crocs are still easily recognizable by the vast majority of the world. If you know anything about the Croc scene, you’ve probably heard the urban legend that if you’re stranded on a deserted island, or lost in the woods, Crocs are a viable source of survival if you boil them down and eat them. Technically speaking, Crocs are made from a closed-cell resin called Croslite™. This soft, comfortable, lightweight, non-marking and odor-resistant foam gives Crocs their unique texture. Although not advertised as edible, Croslite™ is non-toxic, meaning theoretically no harm should come to you if consumed. I decided to put this myth to the test.
I put a large pot of water on the stove and added my lime green Croc when the water started to boil. I also added some salt, pepper, and a little bit of extra-virgin olive oil to combat the years of dirt and sweat embedded in the shoe. I periodically checked the status of the Croc, and as time passed the shoe became more and more pliable, but would never really completely boil down. After twenty minutes, I decided it was as soft as it was going to get, so I removed it from the water and carved it like a perfectly cooked ham. The shoe was very soft and cut like butter, but as the moment grew closer I became more skeptical of my mission– this shoe did not look edible.
I served the piece of Croc with a side of Sriracha dipping sauce–– I needed any excuse to put this malformed rubber in my mouth. Surprisingly, I found two other BSM students willing to eat Crocs. I sat down with my two tasters and after a few deep breaths we dug in. The Croc was very chewy but didn’t really break apart in our mouths. “It actually wasn’t that bad, you just couldn’t eat it” said Croc taster and BSM senior Anna von Kampen. The only thing I can compare the taste to is that of a cheap mouth guard you chew on while playing sports. Realizing I needed a smaller piece to actually swallow any of the Croslite™, I cut a bite size piece, chewed it thoroughly, made the sign of the cross, and swallowed. The small piece of foam sat in my esophagus for what seemed like hours, and I could feel it uncomfortably lingering whenever I swallowed.
In conclusion, Crocs may be non-toxic, but that definitely does not translate into them being edible. If you’ve ever stranded on a deserted island with a friend and Crocs appear to be your only food source, take my advice–– eat your friend before you eat your Crocs.
Matilda Fitzgerald • Jun 23, 2024 at 12:49 am
i think this may be the single greatest piece of media i have ever consumed
Ben Shapiro • May 29, 2024 at 11:15 am
One of the best articles I have read in years. As a former red-40-maxxer I would regularly eat red crocs, however upon reading this article I now understand the error in my ways. I am now converted to the cannibalism diet.
ben • Apr 9, 2024 at 2:53 pm
nice
sui • Apr 9, 2024 at 10:41 am
this is great
Jude • Mar 20, 2024 at 3:41 pm
I wonder what the people who make Crocs will think when they see this.
Jude • Mar 20, 2024 at 3:39 pm
why?
Max • Mar 17, 2021 at 2:01 am
glad this article is still getting recognition in 2021
Jennifer • Feb 8, 2021 at 5:35 am
Yes Crocs are edible. It’s not suppose to taste good ! However, it would help curve that starving feeling if you were stuck somewhere on a deserted island ! See , my friends thing I am odd for always bringing an extra pair of crocs with me everywhere I go ! Now can’t wait to show them this !
allegra rodriguez • Oct 23, 2020 at 4:03 pm
wow! i would be grossed out if i ate that. but good job
and did you know to day is National Crocs day?
Tonya Daniel • Sep 12, 2020 at 6:11 pm
Great job, dude! I’m pretty sure the only objective when eating your crocs would be to take away the hunger pangs so you can concentrate on getting off the island.
Penny & Karis • Jan 8, 2020 at 10:25 am
bro… gr8 job dude. 10/10 article. would recommend to a friend. I might take up the advice on eating my friend first. thanks bud
Katie • Dec 29, 2019 at 4:56 am
This is really funny that someone decided to actually try this. Like good on you mate but still, where did you get that idea?
Hoof hearted • Dec 16, 2019 at 4:59 am
You know you could have bought a new pair of crocs to eat?!?!?!?!!! Why on earth would anyone agree to eat your used crocs? Fungus mouth
Greg Woopo • Aug 5, 2019 at 1:08 pm
This is mental. Imagine eating a £30 shoe. First off, its £30, second its a SHOE.
but you were very brave and ate it so i applause u
Crocs not crack • Jul 15, 2019 at 11:43 pm
My boy Andy says you got something called chicken poppers?
Evoc • Jun 11, 2019 at 2:45 pm
His bowels are now probably a new form of designer Crocs. Don’t eat them.
Croclover1616 • Mar 28, 2019 at 2:45 pm
I bet some pesto would’ve made it edible
Dylan • Jan 10, 2019 at 10:21 am
Truly groundbreaking investigative journalism
Lucia Whalen • Aug 16, 2018 at 11:10 am
Thank you for your honesty, bravery, and fearless reporting.
Can you please share with us what happened to your bowels after this?
Delancey Kae S. • Nov 10, 2017 at 2:25 am
How do you know? Did you try to eat yours? Maybe do a little more research first before you tell others they are wrong.
eh • Sep 26, 2017 at 10:13 am
crocs are edible this is false
Devin Lindsey • Jul 23, 2017 at 10:30 pm
Thank you for the incredibly informative page. You aided in settling a real bummer of a debate between me and my friend who are currently desserted. Im already eyeing up those legs! #thankyou #cannabilsm