Dr. Love on planning the perfect date

Abe Fortier has been bestowed with the title of, “Dr. Love” by former love expert Will Jarvis. “Dr.” is no exaggeration, as he has a Ph.D. in intimacy, dating, and picking up women, despite the fact he has never had a girlfriend. Email Dr. Love at [email protected] to have your love life questions answered!


Colin Sheeley

Abe “Dr. Love” Fortier strikes a pose for his latest photoshoot

Dear Doc,

So my mom had been nagging me about asking this girl out on a date, and I couldn’t handle the complaining anymore, so I asked her out. My friends tell me I screamed at her like Ron Weasley asking Fleur Delacour to Yule Ball. The weirdest part of it all was after I finished my borderline threat, she said, “Yes.” The only problem is I have no idea what I’m going to do for the date. How do I plan an amazing date? Help me Doctor Love, you’re my only hope.

Sincerely, Ronald Weasley

Dear Ronald Weasley,

First off, I love the Star Wars reference at the end, but try not to make any of those on your first date. Girls expect their Prince Charming in a suit of armor, not wookie hair.

Secondly, you can never go wrong with a fancy dinner. Try to stay away from fast food places. If you try to take her out to McDonald’s, she’ll think you’re cheap. And although that’s probably accurate, she doesn’t need to know that.

Also, remember to shake her father’s hand while simultaneously trying to make the smallest amount of eye contact possible. He will almost certainly be staring you down the entire time.

Finally, it’s time for the movie. There are two genres of movies to choose from. The first genre is the romance movie. I myself love a good romantic flick, and if I had to guess, so does your date. Take her to this, and she’ll get the impression that you’re an emotional man who likes to show his soft side. A movie like “The Fault In Our Stars” will most definitely get the waterworks flowing, giving you the opportunity to comfort her, and maybe even make a move.

The other genre you could use is horror. If you aren’t experienced, I wouldn’t recommend it. You do not want to be the kid face-deep in his hoody hiding from a fictitious murderer. If you do well in scary movies, this is your chance. When she gets scared by the movie, you’ll have a window of opportunity to comfort her. If not, she’ll think you aren’t interested, a problem I experienced all too frequently as a lad.

Your friend,

Dr. Love