Man love: a primer on bromance

Man love: a primer on bromance

Junior Ryan Lawyer shares a tender embrace with his bro Robbie Sutherland.

Ryan Lawyer, Staff Writer

Man love is everywhere in our daily lives as human. It is quite simply, the epitome of the male, human race. Sure, most men desire other women but for whatever reason, nothing can match the sentimental significance of a bro hug in the hall, or butt slap on the football field.

All guys who become good friends go through several stages in their relationship. And as the relationship between brethren progresses, so does the bro-mance. It begins with the bro hug—a ritual that involves complex choreography.

Step 1: Extend the right hand and clasp the outstretched hand of the intended recipient (note: be careful to only interlace each other’s thumbs.)

Step 2: Leading with your right foot, and pulling with your right hand, move towards your recipient.

Step 3: Swing your left hand around the back of the recipient and place in such a way that it is resting on the recipient’s left shoulder blade (note: if you have done this correctly, your elbows should be bent, and your intertwined hands should be in a fist, separating each other’s chests.)

Step 4: (optional, depending on the depth of the relationship): You may pat your recipient once, you may pat twice, you may even rub, but you can never rub and pat. Don’t ask why. It’s just the way it is—and all bros know it.

But let’s not give it a bad reputation—man love is a good thing. It allows us to expand our goodwill to another 50% of the population. It even permits poetic moments like listening to James Taylor on the porch with a bro-buddy while eating nachos and watching a distant storm brew. And, whenever the mood is right, man love can go back to the old norms of talking smack and punching each other. After all, guys just wanna have fun.