Catastrophes with the Kardashians

Rachel Lais

Kellen's heart is broken, just like Kim

Kellen Gill, Staff Writer

Being a hardcore fan of the Kardashians for years (I faithfully watch it every Sunday night), I didn’t think that their lives could get any more exciting. In May, 2011, that all changed when Kim announced her engagement to NBA player Kris Humphries. When I heard the news and saw the 20.5 carat ring on her finger, I was ecstatic. I knew that this meant more of my Sunday nights were going to be spent watching my favorite reality family.

The months that led up to the big day were very busy for me. I barely had a free moment, from deciding what the perfect gift would be to send to the couple, to my daily visits to Lake Minnetonka, checking to see if Kim and Kris were in town to congratulate them, and leaving letters in Kris’s mailbox, fully adorned with my address so he could send my invitation. Alright, I might be exaggerating a bit. But I did check online daily for any updates on the wedding.

I pencilled in when Kim’s fairytale wedding special was and canceled all other activities for that day. I even made my very own countdown calendar surrounded with pictures of the couple and gleefully marked off every day. I felt like a little kid waiting for Christmas. The day finally arrived––from Kim’s three Vera Wang dresses, to the $2.5 million diamond headpiece she wore, it was all beautiful.

The next few weeks after the release of “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding” left no clues of problems between the couple. I woke up Halloween morning, excited for my day. I read a headline from “E!” on Twitter: “Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries divorcing.” My world came crashing down. So, I immediately tweeted Kim to offer my support.

Within minutes of the breaking news, Twitter was blowing up with tweets and trends, and one that caught on quickly was: “#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage.” It was a bit hurtful, but I had to admit it was entertaining.

#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage: “The life of my blackberry bold,” “Her fairy tale wedding special,” “Her reality television series,” “Taylor Swift’s speech before Kanye interrupted her,” “That awkward pause Dora takes after asking a question,” “#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage has spent more time trending than Kim’s marriage lasted,” “Kim and Kris’s engagement,” “The NBA lockout,” and “The average lifespan of a goldfish.”

Since the news of the separation, I’ve been trying my best to cope and move on. The eight-hour cry session I had in my room the other night was my first step toward recovery. However, it’s still hard not to break down whenever I overhear someone talking about it in the hallway. So if you see me, please don’t mention it.

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