Bridgit Flom, Staff Writer
Every night, Bridgit puts fuzzy socks on before bed, yet every morning, they are nowhere to be found. Her favorite activities include: opening the fridge, mumbling, and pretending she can sing whilst strumming an instrument. Common items found on her bedroom floor are concert stubs, empty gatorade bottles, a variety of unwashed paintbrushes, and occasionally a dog or two. Recently, there have been rumors floating around about the alleged development of premature wrinkles on Bridgit’s face. A reliable source said, “The amount she needs to concentrate has really put a damper on that smooth forehead, warping her eyebrows into translucent caterpillars reenacting Pyramus and Thisbe.”
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