It’s that time of the year again folks: fall


Courtesy of Tiffany Joseph

Pumpkins are only one of the many standard trappings of fall.

It’s that time of the year again folks. The leaves have fallen, the supremacy of men’s wardrobes is being reclaimed by the flannel-hoodie combo, and corporations are adding ‘pumpkin spice’ to virtually every product possible. As the time at which it gets dark sorrowfully ventures into the late afternoon, the noises emitted as you start your car in the morning are becoming increasingly resemblant to those of a typical 4th of July in any given region of Florida. However, aside from the depressingly early nights and cold weather, the fall is a vastly underappreciated season. Here are just a few reasons why.

First and foremost, Halloween. For the majority of us, Halloween was once a night celebrated by dressing up as your favorite superhero (mine was Spiderman, in case you were wondering), and soliciting complete strangers for candy that would then sit untouched at the bottom of an old pillowcase for months in the depths of your closet. Halloween is now, however, an excuse as to why you’re in the backyard of a random house party at 11:36 pm on a school night, risking hypothermia to rock a mediocre homemade rendition of a popular Netflix character, all while “Thriller” by Michael Jackson faintly plays from a rather small JBL speaker for the 5th time in 2 hours. It is also an alibi for “not seeing” the 6 texts from your mom that ensued from this social endeavor, each chronologically featuring more and more punctuation marks. Nonetheless, even though the means of its celebration have changed significantly through the years, I think we can all agree that Halloween still makes for one of the best nights of the year.

Next on the list of fall’s best festivities is a no-brainer for many, particularly my male audience, and is inaugurated at the beginning of every September. As David Robidoux’s musical masterpiece Run to the Playoffs chimes throughout living rooms nationwide, millions of Americans combat their emerging seasonal depression by eagerly tuning into NFL Network for the first time in several months. Football is back. Life is good. On top of just the NFL returning, fantasy football is back too. This makes it seem problematically rational to spend the majority of Sundays seated in a fixed position, suppressing any hint of academic motivation with a 70-inch TV and eating more junk food than Christian Bale preparing for his role in American Hustle. “What better way to procrastinate copious amounts of homework than to watch 8 consecutive hours of NFL Redzone, while simultaneously honoring your duties as the self-proclaimed coach of an imaginary football team?” said Einstein, I think.

Last but certainly not least, no list of the fall’s best moments would be complete without Thanksgiving. The pretty colored trees have become bare and your instagram feed is still filled with unnecessarily decorated $12 pumpkin spiced lattes, but the vibes are still high. Thanksgiving is truly a peak representation of all good things in life, such as friends, family, and saturated fats. The pleasant aroma of various traditional “American” foods provides more sensory satisfaction than your first time trying McDonalds’ Sprite, you hear the distant echo of Joe Buck discussing the extensive list of problems in the Lions’ offense, and overall morale is higher than the state of Wisconsin’s on December 5, 1933. Whether it be turkey or ham that you’re eating (ham is the only correct answer), nothing brings a family together quite like commemorating their mutual appreciation by meeting at the dinner table to collectively heighten their cholesterol levels beyond recommended health standards. As your grandpa unknowingly makes remarks that are now deemed insensitive, and your aunt – who flew in from a state that you often forget exists – comments about a change in your height that unfortunately has not occurred, you internally debate between whether a third serving of mashed potatoes is a good idea or not. To accompany the resulting food coma, you throw on A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and reflect upon all of life’s blessings that you often take for granted. What a day.