I’m from the only divided country in the world––South Korea. During the years I’ve spent in my home country, the tension has intensified and eased; the two nations have aimed their tanks at each other but also marched together under one united flag at the Sydney Olympics. I’ve done drills at school for a potential bombing, but I’ve also donated my piggy banks for the North Korean people. Quite often, people ask my opinion on North Korea: “Do you hate them?” or “Do you want to bomb them?” The answer is not quite simple. We, South Koreans, are at times frightened and at times outraged, but overall, we always are reminded that they are one of us––just separated.

The 38th parallel now divides the two countries––soldiers heavily armed and civilians staring through the invisible wall. After several decades of separation, the two sides have completely lost their common grounds from the fundamental ideologies to the everyday lifestyle; even the language today differs to a great extent. Unfortunately, the division became a cold fact of life. Despite the major differences that separate the two countries, things that haven’t changed are the ancestors and the history of Korea.

My great-grandfather fought for the South while his brother fought for the North. By the abrupt political division, they were destined to fight for a different cause. After the ceasefire, my great-grandfather raised his family in the South and his brother raised his family in the North. Like my great-grandfather, most South Koreans have unknown relatives in the North; we might not know their names and we might never hear from them but we still feel the close kinship with the North Koreans.

In my second grade class, I had a North Korean classmate. She revealed her history in fifth grade, and not until then, did we know she was different. She looked the same. She behaved the same. She was one of us. The people in North are the same people caged under a brutal reality.

North Korea has vilified South Korea while South Korea sent truckloads of food across the border; since 1996, South Korea has donated over $247.67 million and last September, they proposed an $8 million aid package. North Korea sank a South Korean submarine while South Korea embraced the defectors. Recently, South Korean government had fully treated a wounded defector and disregarded North Korea’s demand to send him back. All politics aside, all threats aside, South Koreans acknowledge that the citizens of North Korea are separate from the reckless leader of North Korea.

This is the factor people don’t consider while addressing the tension between the two countries: North Koreans are still Koreans and they have uncontrollable lives.

North Korea, to most, is an isolated state ruled under the cruel dictatorship of Kim Jong Un. Leaders around the world have shown aggression in their dialogues; President Trump warned that North Korea will be met with “fire and fury” and Prime Minister Abe commented that it is “time to apply pressure.” South Korea, on the other hand, has taken measures to retaliate through joint military drills and test fires but their effort to fight back has been minimal.

North Korea, to South Koreans, is a land of sorrow. It scars our hearts when we see North Koreans starve on the streets. We can’t hide our tears when we see defectors brutally shot. They are not just anybodies for South Koreans. North Korea’s our crazy sibling. North Korea’s our naive brother. But North Korea’s still our family––that just need a turning point in their lives.  So here are my answers. Do I hate them? I hate that we are still divided. Do I want to bomb them? No, the oppressed people of North Korean do not deserve violence.