Conquering the Ben and Jerry’s Vermonster


Ashley Ortizcazarin

The scene of the crime.

“The Vermonster” is a beast of an ice cream sundae, featuring more ice cream than any sane person would ever dare to eat. Choosing up to ten flavors of Ben and Jerry’s finest is just the beginning of conquering the mammoth concoction.

7:02 PM:

Arrive at Ben and Jerry’s’ Lake Calhoun location, unsure of what exactly I’ve gotten myself into.

7:10 PM:

My squad has been been assembled and we begin the delicate process of deciding what flavors of ice cream to put into our creation. Our friendly scooper senior Peter McCague, better known as P3T3R through the halls of BSM just happened to be working (it’s his way of keeping a low profile) on the night we planned to take on the Vermonster. However, he refused to help us with this story, and refused to help us eat any of The Vermonster. He could not be reached for comment; actually, his representatives kicked us out of his “office” when we asked.

7:15PM: Let the carnage begin.

It’s all smooth sailing for the first ten minutes, and we destroy the first third of the behemoth sundae, that’s when the realization of what we’ve gotten ourselves into begins to set in. I asked my brave volunteers why they decided to accompany me for the challenge, and got quite the variety of answers.

“Ice cream is awesome and Ben and Jerry’s is fire,” senior Kate Herrmann said. Though I must admit, upon hearing the answers, this one was my favorite. “I’m lactose intolerant,” senior Lucy Emmer said.

7:30 PM:

We’re almost half-done now, and starting to get winded, but we know we must press on, we have a mission to accomplish. No turning back now.

7:45 PM:

We’ve been at this for over 30 minutes now, we are at the point where we need to take a break after every bite. So close… we can see the bottom of the bucket. We press on.

8:00 PM:

All that’s left besides melted ice cream is half a cookie and a frozen brownie…we just stare at them… none of us wanted to touch either of them.

8:10 PM:

“MVP!” Senior Lucy Emmer says as Junior Charlie Peavy and myself both reach into the bucket for the last two pieces of brownie left amongst the carnage of the once-massive sundae. We know what must be done.

8:12 PM:

The deed is done. In 44 minutes, 21.09 seconds we’ve managed to defeat the illusive Vermonster. It took every bit of strength from us, but somehow, we’ve all managed to live to tell the tale.


Our squad has begun to disperse, we remain at Ben and Jerry’s until closing. Me, I stay exclusively to gather useful information for this story. The others, I suspect, to fulfill their ulterior motive: getting a brief look at, or possibly even a few words with the superstar P3T3R before he becomes enveloped by his entourage upon his exit from Ben and Jerry’s.

We tried again for comment, and somehow managed to corner the superstar on his way out from “work”. “Yeah these people asked me to make them a Vermonster. It made me kind of sad because four months ago I was on a world tour and now I’m scooping buckets of ice cream for people,” McCague said.

Since we took the challenge, I haven’t touched Ben and Jerry’s cream. Though, I’m confident I will do it again someday, I’m not sure when that will be. I’m in no rush.