Despite his eligibility, Gormley has yet to pick up any girls in the mailroom.
Frankie Gormley
KE: What makes you an eligible bachelor?
FG: I have really bad gas. So much gas. I just constantly have gas. I have terminal gas syndrome.
KE: Ideal date?
GOR: I’m going to travel to Qatar; then we’re going to ride camels into the sunset as the moonlight beats down on us.
KE: Are you single by choice?
FG: No.
KE: Do you think you’d be a good boyfriend?
FG: Heck yeah, I got the bling bling. I got the moolah.
KE: What are your hobbies?
FG: I like crocheting.
KE: Favorite pickup line?
FG: I’ve got a few. “Oh baby if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call fine print.” and “Can I take a picture of you to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?” “Are you a vegetable, because you are a cute-cumber.”
KE: Best place to meet someone?
FG: I’m going to say the mailroom.
KE: What are your thoughts on PDA?
FG: I don’t like it so much, this one’s a serious one. Holding hands can be okay in the right setting like a dinner that’s fine, but at school walking through the halls, I don’t want to see that.
KE: Who is your current BSM crush?
FG: Beyoncé or James Franco.
The happy chair
Fun fact: people don’t look at their chairs and smile for no reason. I don’t care how cool your pants look, no one unnecessarily smiles at their chairs. If you do smile at your chair at random points in your life, I feel sorry for you. This is another example of phone trickery exemplified by students all over BSM.
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