Senior Darragh cutter knows the truth about the BSM Omelet Bar.


Shannon O'Connor

Obvious signs of the Illuminati are everywhere in the BSM Omelet Bar.

We all love the omelette bar. It provides a great, nutritious and filling option for all breakfast lovers out there, and entices those who aren’t avid breakfasters to “break” their normal routine. With all the joy and love the omelette bar gives to us, is it the bi-product of a generous benefactor? Or is the omelette bar secretly an Illuminati headquarters here at BSM, determined to destroy our free will?

The omelette Illuminati, A.K.A. the Eggluminati, shows all the signs of a secret evil stronghold. Firstly, notice that there are three burners, as in the three sides and corners of a triangle, the token two-dimensional shape of the Illuminati. Also, don’t fail to observe that the burners never turn off, a symbol of the eternal flame of vice perpetuated by the organization. Next, take a closer look at the delicious toppings offered by Taher, you might catch that there are thirteen topping options, a number so sinister that only the demon worshiping cult could have come up with.

These things all seem to be circumstantial, coincidental or even eggs-agerate, but this last piece of evidence carelessly left in the open the Eggluminati, is the fabled Freemason Omelette Recipe book, known to be filled with countless eggy mind-control recipes that play a key role in the Illuminati’s plot for world domination. There have been numerous reported sightings of the legendary cookbook deep within the Taher kitchen, under lock-and-key, with a large, menacing three-headed guard dog standing watch over it 24/7. It is rumored to be filled with hundreds of Illuminati recipes. Both the front and back covers are black and white checkered and the front even has the all-seeing eye and pyramid installed in it, while the back has a gigantic Owl, encircled by an Ouroboros.

The Illuminati tried to “scramble” the truth by using an omelet bar as a front, but we’re smarter than that. The truth is that this organization is a bunch of bad eggs that think they can slip one by us. Do they think we’re stupid?