No-shave November historically applies only to male participants, which is not very fair to the facial follicly-challenged ladies. Seeing guys walk through the halls with creeper staches makes me feel bad about my image because I wasn’t granted the gift of growing facial hair. When baby-faced senior boys complain about not being able to grow a beard or mustache, they fail to understand that one day it will come for them—I will have to deal with a peach-fuzzed face for the rest of my life.

I may not be able to flaunt my no-shave November act like the menfolk, but I know that girls around the globe are participating the same way that I am. Well, we don’t really participate in no-shave November per se; it’s more of a “no-shave winter.” Yes, that is correct, no-shave winter for every girl (unless she plays a sport involving shorts) is a much-needed and appreciated break from shaving our legs.

Guys can’t compare their month-long facial hair to a girl’s four month streak of hairy legs. Every November, guys make a big ruckus about not shaving; meanwhile, girls have already forgotten the sensation of smooth, shaven legs––a sure sign that the jungle has truly gone wild.

Boys may have their faces to show off, but we have the ability to wear shorts, dresses, and skirts to prove our dedication to not shaving during the winter. Sadly, it’s too cold
(and frankly, a little too disturbing) to show off our legs. However, I do get to go through winter secretly knowing that the girl sitting next to me probably hasn’t shaved for weeks.

The end of “no-shave winter” is more forced than desired. The Holiday Ball dance in February calls for a necessary deforestation. Putting on a dress exposes our legs, thus forcing us to shave them for the first time in months. However, rumors say that Holiday Ball will be informal this year; I don’t know about you, but the informality of this event means I will be wearing jeans. It sounds like “no-shave winter” will be extended through spring this year.

Any typical high school student would associate springtime with Prom. Girls, I know your first thought would be that you need to shave your legs, but this is not true. Why do you think prom has the tradition of maxi-dresses? Obviously it’s so “no-shave winter” can be drawn out into the late spring. At this point, it’s gone on long enough that it would be a shame to throw away roughly eight months of progress for the short summer months, so there’s no telling when this phenomenon will end. You’re welcome ladies and gentlemen.