The student news site of Benilde-St. Margaret's School in St. Louis Park, MN

Knight Errant

The student news site of Benilde-St. Margaret's School in St. Louis Park, MN

Knight Errant

The student news site of Benilde-St. Margaret's School in St. Louis Park, MN

Knight Errant

Doctor Karlen

Old Father Karlen is better known to people outside of my family as our emergency doc. After I lacerated Bob’s head with my ice skate in sixth grade, poppa Karlen sewed it up in our living room. Almost a year ago John broke his nose, and once again, my father simply jammed needles up his nose and re-aligned it with the help of my little sister. I secretly envied them; I craved to boast that I too experienced critical procedures at the hands of family members. Little did I know I would soon achieve that dream.

On that fateful Friday I found my mind wandering to thoughts in which I somehow ended up with a broken bone protruding from my leg or arm, or in a hospital bed barely breathing after some extreme experience I miraculously lived through. However, my school day passed by without a hitch, and while primping to go play some puck at Klapperich, those masochistic thoughts vanished. Roughly two hours later I found myself covered in blood after a slapshot nailed my forehead. A cop showed up, quickly followed by paramedics, and during my brief encounter with the inside of the ambulance, I said the words I had been dreaming about my entire life (or most of Friday): “Don’t worry, it’s not necessary to bring me to the hospital my father plans on sewing it up himself.”

After a quick phone call to my mother and my release from the tricked out medical limousine, I was chauffeured home by my bestie. With blood still draining from my head, I finally embarked on the idolized trip; we pulled into my father’s surgery center parking lot and walked inside. Room number 3 loomed around the corner, and I giddily hopped in the examination chair. My father immediately began sanitation and encouraged my 14-year-old sister to follow suit. Good old Sal, (my mom), finished talking to the pizza place and patted my knee once more before she left to pick up three sausage-and-sour-kraut pizzas for a post-surgery meal.

No anesthesia, my eyes closed, lying under a blinding white light, the whole procedure began in a dream-like state. I smelled the formaldehyde scented topical numbing medicine my father rubbed around the wound and waited patiently for it to take affect. Minutes later I felt a slight pressure moving quickly inside the gash, an oozy liquid spill down my face, and cotton pads frantically try to stanch the steady leak coming from my forehead. A sudden stabbing around the wound drew all of my attention as I felt the burning Novocaine sensation spread through my forehead.

After a brief 25 minute pause while poppa Karlen took a phone call, he returned to pull a severed and slightly large artery a bit out of my head to tie it off and prevent a hematoma. Practically writhing with joy, from there it was a rather uneventful experience as my father whipped out 25 flawless stitches as closed the gash. With blood now dried in my hair and a swelling mountain on my forehead, bit into my pizza slice and hoped to remember this night forever.

Leave a Comment

Comments (0)

The Knight Errant intends for this area to be used to foster healthy, thought-provoking discussion. Comments are expected to adhere to our standards and to be respectful and constructive. As such, we do not permit the use of profanity, foul language, personal attacks, or the use of language that might be interpreted as libelous. Comments are reviewed and must be approved by a moderator to ensure that they meet these standards. The Knight Errant does not allow anonymous comments, and the Knight Errant requires first and last names and a valid email address in order for comments to be published. The email address will not be displayed but will be used to confirm your comments.
All Knight Errant Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Activate Search
The student news site of Benilde-St. Margaret's School in St. Louis Park, MN
Doctor Karlen