Clinton causing Democrats to lose

Evan Bakker

This just in! Hillary Clinton has announced on Fox News that she will be staying in the presidential race until the convention, where the entire Democratic Party will certainly kill itself as a result. Now let’s allow our viewers to send in questions via e-mail.

Why would she do this? asks Frank from South Carolina.

Well Frank, she’s a Clinton, she’s an iron-fisted woman who wants to prove her toughness, and she has the mentality that says, “If I’m going to lose, I’m bringing the Democratic party down with me,” because this campaign is all about her.

But how can you say that? Presidential candidates run because they want to help people.

Jim, that’s a good question. The idea of helping people was a small portion of her goals at the onset, until she started throwing her surrogates onto the battlefield to be slaughtered by the media for spitting out statements that she most likely told them to say and until she began creating stories that she dodged intense sniper fire in Bosnia and indirectly saved everyone there.

She is so far into the campaign now and is so focused on winning vs. losing that she has lost sight of the interests of the people. She’s making one last desperate push, and in doing so has thrown every form of attack at Senator Obama.

Okay, but how is she hurting the party?

If we look into it, the Clinton scenario for victory is much more costly than the Obama scenario. For Clinton to win the nomination, she would have to win nearly every remaining primary and stay in place until a nail-biter at the Democratic Convention. All the while, McCain would have built up a majority which would absolutely destroy the Democrats in the presidential election.

So what would you suggest?

Look, we’re all sick of the bickering amongst Democrats. Clinton’s negative campaigning is only focusing on hurting her fellow Democrat, Senator Obama. She’s even been teaming up with John McCain to hurt Obama, making it seem like a McCain/Clinton ticket could be on its way. What the Democrats really need to do is focus on attacking the Republicans and pointing out their own strengths as Democrats.

The woman in the pantsuit must step down now before she drags the Democrats down with her.