Knight Errant

From Snuggles to Siegfried: One Student’s Animal Mishaps

Elin Lantz

May 27, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

(Warning: if you read this article, do not think of me as an animal abuser. I am generally good-natured to my pets except for any guppies I buy, which I can promise are always dead within a fortnight.) My family’s first pet was a rabbit named Snuggles. We decided that rabbits were the perfect pet...

Follow me if you want to survive!

May 6, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

Crying in the basement bathroom while huddling up with my equally frightened dog and pillows, a blanket and a little mint green colored weather radio has been a frequent habit of mine during the severe weather season. Wondering why neither of my parents want to be safe from the imminent threat of a tornado...

Um, is that needle supposed to go there?

May 1, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

I rocked in my red metal folding chair as the young nurse absentmindedly asked me seemingly obvious questions that I really wasn’t paying attention to: “Did I serve in the army between the years of 1980 and 1996?  Was I an African American willing to join the Sickle Cell Society?”  For someone w...

Gasoline isn’t the cheapest or best-smelling perfume

April 30, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

It was the moment I dreamed of forever. The day the thin slice of plastic with my squinty-eyed photo was handed to me, I felt cooler than ice.  That’s right, the satisfaction of knowing that I had my license months before any of my friends gave me an instant ego. I never thought that just hours later,...

Government regulated sugerplum dreams

April 21, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

Free candy you say? Why yes, I believe I will indulge if you don’t mind, just a few tasty morsels. Wait. How did I just get free candy? Perhaps the man had recently robbed a candy store and was trying to get rid of the goods, or maybe he was planting the stolen items on me to throw the police...

The road to manhood starts with “The Ledge”

April 18, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

As a kid of seven or eight nothing represented proving yourself as a man in the neighborhood more than jumping off of “the ledge.” “The ledge” was not a symbol for a greater cause or even a ledge itself; “the ledge” was in fact just a giant stone wall (why we didn’t just call it “the...

Praise be to Krishna spring break is over!

April 17, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

This spring break I was jetting off to sunny Mexico for a week of relaxation on my first real spring break. I had gone on other spring break vacations before, but those were only to visit my grandparents in their retirement communities in Florida and Arizona where the only fun you can possibly have is...

Delve into the world of fasciculation

April 16, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

For the past few days my left arm, particularly the medial head of my triceps brachii, has annoyed me; it won’t stop twitching. At first the twitch was kind of fun, a silly distraction to alleviate the boredom of class. It was a strange occurrence; I would sit in class and wait for the twitches...

Shopping for Prom at Doomingdale’s

April 11, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

It happens to upper class high school girls at least once each spring, and for some, it can be a day more dreaded than finals day. Prom dress shopping day is, for those of us who weren’t blessed with model-like builds, possibly as painful as getting six teeth pulled. To many, shopping for a Prom...

The lame loss of my luscious locks

April 8, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

I tried shaking my five inches of luscious locks out of my face, only to realize that they wouldn’t move, in fact, the hair wasn’t even there. At first, I panicked, but quickly remembered that last night the annual event had taken place: the summer-cut. Most guys have experienced it: the immediate...

Extreme peril at the Xcel

April 1, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

The events described in the following article are entirely factual. Only the names of the parties involved have been changed (poorly) to protect those involved from feeling like complete idiots. It was just before three o’clock, after the BSM versus Woodbury state hockey match, four friends and...

Ah, my traumatic childhood

Elin Lantz

March 31, 2008


Filed under DIVERSIONS

According to my sister, a UFO dropped me on my parents’ doorstep when I was an infant. She poked me with a stick while questioning me about what it was like to be part of the alien species. Sadly, this was by no means the only time she took advantage of me. Read More »...

The student news site of Benilde-St. Margaret's School in St. Louis Park, MN
DIVERSIONS