Relax, high school girls. The Ugg-banning boogeyman isn’t coming to get you or your footwear.

Tales of a junior high ban on Uggs recently swept through the school, inducing anger and fear on the part of sheepskin-clad lasses of the high school. After all, how could the school ban a certain brand? What was next, North Face? Lacoste? Some clarification is apparently necessary though; the “Ugg ban” is actually just an amendment to the junior high dress code to disallow winter boots and slippers. “Winter boots all day during school is dumb. And slippers are clearly not appropriate for school,” said Mr. Dave Platt, junior high dean.

Several factors besides the junior high administration’s fashion sense prompted the amendment as well. “Several pairs of Uggs were stolen during school last year,” Mr. Platt said. Additionally, the expensive boots were becoming something of a status symbol for junior high fashionistas. “Several parents complained,” said Mr. Platt, “and there are certain things we can do as a school to relieve stress on families who can’t afford $200 for a pair of boots for their daughters.”

Mr. Platt found the overreaction humorous, assuaging fears that this was a step toward uniforms in the junior high. “Students have to understand that there are certain elements within our community that really want uniforms, and if we let popular culture trends influence the way kids are going to look at school to this extent, that only gives them ammunition. If we have a little stricter dress code, that will help us not have uniforms.”

Mrs. Mary Andersen, senior high dean, said that no similar amendment was on its way to the senior high. “We haven’t even talked about it.” In reference to the apparently ungracious spirit of junior high Ugg devotees, she added, “Hopefully that’s more of a junior high thing.”