Menards

Menards

I walked into Menards and was blinded by fluorescent lighting. I was also the only person in the entire store that wasn’t a 20-30 year old man wearing camouflage. I pressed on through the tackiness only to hear the sound of Satan: a “save big money at Menards” remix on repeat. It was as awful as one can imagine, but it must have been mind control because halfway through my investigation I started to warm up the weirdness that is Menards. Maybe it was the fact that they sell vitamins and shampoo, or maybe it was the vending machine they had inside a log cabin (yes a log cabin). Whatever it was, I started to enjoy it. They had way more selection than I saw at Home Depot, but it wasn’t necessarily a better quality selection. Menards was essentially a higher quantity but lower quality Home Depot. They passed the light bulb test. It was conveniently right next to the entrance; however, no one asked if I needed anything the whole time I was there, and I was offended to say the least. The third test was also a bust at Menards because they didn’t have a single tiny cactus. My evidence verified that Menards sucks eggs.