Home Depot


I decided I should choose an item and see how hard it is to find. I decided on a staple item of all home improvement stores: a 70 watt light bulb. Lucky for team Home Depot, the light bulbs were the first thing I saw as I entered the building. The second test was to see how fast an employee would throw out the empty gesture of asking if I needed help. I walked around aimlessly for about 10 minutes and although no one cared I was lost and confused, I noticed that Home Depot’s fake kitchens are something right out of HGTV. The back splashes complement the dark cherry drawers perfectly: a suburban 50-year-old’s ideal layout. Naturally everything cost more than the $20 I had in my pocket, but I have no interest in worrying about the debt that follows adulthood anyway. Finally after 15 minutes, a nice worker asked if I needed anything. Unfortunately he only questioned me because he caught me taking a picture of him to gather evidence, but it was better than having to walk around for 10 more minutes pretending I was actually going to buy something. My final test was to see how  collective the tiny cactus selection was. Home Depot had little cacti in yellow, pink, and –just yellow and pink pretty much. I concluded that if you like pink cacti, HGTV homes (price included), and people  that will ask if you need help only when you scare them into it, Home Depot is the store for you.