An attempt at ‘No-Shave November’

Ryan Lawyer, Staff Writer
November 27, 2011
Filed under Humor

I'd like to return to one of my favorite topics: hair. Specifically, facial hair. Throughout high school, I’ve attempted to grow out my beard only twice––both times for a great cause. Both, you see, were playoff beards. Any other time I’ve let the scruff rage for even a few days, I have been... Read more »

A proclamation of obsession

Anna Landis, Staff Writer
November 17, 2011
Filed under Humor

Oh, I had heard of this specimen before, though I had never been fortunate enough to observe it in its natural habitat. But as I was clunking from second to third hour one day, I caught a glimpse of him, as a hunter spots the antlers of a robust young buck amongst the dew-covered branches of a forest. There... Read more »

Confessions of a hypochondriac

Marielle Arostegui, Staff Writer
November 17, 2011
Filed under Humor

As a discombobulating pain in my torso left me paralyzed on the floor, I instantly feared I would never move again. I slowly gained enough strength to drag my perishing body over to the computer, where the one thing that could save me sat knowingly on my desk—WebMD. It was here on this extraordinary... Read more »

Indie mood for music

Kale Walch, Online Reviews Editor
November 16, 2011
Filed under Humor

Indie music. To some: joke fodder. To others: a way of life. The mainstream folk dismiss it as noise that people who wear extra tight pants and canvas shoes listen to. And they are absolutely right. Science proves that tight pants can cut up to 70% of blood flow to the brain, which explains why indie... Read more »

Emily: a proud papa

Emily Kline, Staff Writer
November 15, 2011
Filed under Humor

Until two months ago, I’d never questioned my gender—I’m 5’ 5”, I’ve never successfully played an organized sport, and I only once accidentally bought guy’s pants. But after seeing the words “village father” next to my name on the “Fiddler on the Roof” cast list, my whole life did... Read more »

A dedication to Team Jacob

Natalie Walsh, Staff Writer
November 14, 2011
Filed under Humor, Top Stories

What girl doesn’t wish her boyfriend was a dark, handsome, muscular, werewolf? Because I sure do. When it comes to the commonly argued subject of vampires vs. werewolves, I always defend the side of my precious, Jacob Black. Werewolves all the way, baby. I will forever be a pack member. My obsession... Read more »

Keepin’ it fresh in freshman choir

Anna Landis, Staff Writer
October 19, 2011
Filed under Humor, Top Stories

It’s always a little awkward walking into class on the first day of school, wondering where you should sit, if any of your friends are in there, or if you even have friends. You know... the usual. But this year when I walked into fourth hour Choir, I literally didn’t recognize anyone. As I looked... Read more »

WOW, who says internet alter egos are bad?

Kale Walch, Online Reviews Editor
October 19, 2011
Filed under Humor

In real life, my physical appearance leaves something to be desired; although my hair is nice a couple of times a week, my meager frame does not inspire fear in the minds of anyone. But suddenly, after a short click and password entry later, I become a titan, a force to be feared: a level 85 Elven Death... Read more »

Always the odd man out

Ryan Lawyer, Diversions Editor
October 18, 2011
Filed under Humor

Throughout my life, I have found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time... a lot. Living with mostly women, I see, hear, and smell some strange things that men are just not meant to be a part of. But my fiasco doesn’t end there. Throughout my high school career, I’ve met a bunch of people... Read more »

Foot loose and not so fancy free

Chloe Kennedy, Staff Writer
October 14, 2011
Filed under Humor

Warning to all students: although it doesn't explicitly state in the student handbook that shoes are necessary at school, without them you will still get dress coded mercilessly because apparently it’s a “state law” or something. I was caught in this horrible series of accidental law breaking when... Read more »