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American Studies class formed to combine American history and literature

American Literature teacher Ms. Anne Marie Dominguez teaches The Great Gatsby to her students in the newly developed class, American Studies, alongside U.S. History teacher Ms. Megan Kern. (Chris Bell)

American Studies class formed to combine American history and literature

February 3, 2012

Nicole Sarquis, Staff Writer

History teachers tend to ramble off unrelatable facts about flappers, bootlegging, and the ease of life in the “Roaring 20s” during a typical U.S. History class, leaving their students with no real understanding of the subject. At the same time, English teachers’ enthusiasm over F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Gatsby” can only be understood... Continue Reading

Besse stays hot with two more goals against Wayzata

February 6, 2012

Matt Muenzberg, Sports Editor

“We need our Kyle Rau,” said boys’ hockey head coach Mr. Ken Pauly, referencing the former Eden Prairie Eagle who not only led the team in scoring on their way to last year’s state championship, but also consistently showed up when his team needed a goal. BSM’s Kyle Rau is junior forward Grant Besse, who has been on a roll lately, averaging over 2.8 goals a game in his last seven games. He twice found the back of the net and added an assist in a 4-3 win over section rival Wayzata on Monday, Feb. 6. With section seeding on the line, there was a playoff-like atmosphere at the packed Plymouth Ice Center. “I loved it,” said Besse. “I thrive on that stuff.” Head-to-head match-ups... Continue Reading

Rising actors partake in Les Miserables performance

Junior Shannon Galvin rehearses for the upcoming Les Miserables performance wither her fellow cast members. (Giulia Imholte)

Rising actors partake in Les Miserables performance

January 27, 2012

Emily Kline, Staff Writer

Blue Water Theatre Company, one of the Twin Cities’ top performing arts groups for youth, is taking on “Les Misérables,” one of musical theatre’s most famous works, for their winter production. Juniors Rachel Hogen and Shannon Galvin, along with sophomore Rachel Wallace, joined the cast in late November and are currently in rehearsals for the... Continue Reading

SOPA bill is ineffective, inefficient, and infringing

February 1, 2012

Nick Hillson, Staff Writer

The Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) is a bill running through Congress in an attempt to curb the illegal uploading and downloading of copyrighted information and programs. Unfortunately, due to extremely vague wording and unclear definitions, the censorship proposed could extend to websites such as Facebook, various e-mails, and any other free forum. Not only is SOPA ineffective for all but the technologically impaired, but it violates our rights and benefits only a small handful of elites. SOPA works by requiring websites and Internet Service Providers (ISPs) to search through sent information and to censor any infringing material. Not only does this ignore the privacy guaranteed in the Constitution... Continue Reading

Mock Trial season testifies the team’s talent

The Mock Trial team had a succesful season at several competitions due to immense practice and help from professional lawyers. (Photo courtesy of Jim Vogl)

Mock Trial season testifies the team’s talent

February 3, 2012

Mallory Hoch, Staff Writer

Beginning in October, the Mock Trial team has practiced every night from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. in room 121 in preparation for upcoming competitions. Coming to a close on January 31st, the season ended on a strong note, making it to subsections before loosing their last competition. The season commenced with general practices to help initiate new members.... Continue Reading

SportDateOpponentResultW/L
Girls BasketballTue, Feb 07 DeLaSalle54-70L
Boys BasketballTue, Feb 07 DeLaSalle60-59W
Boys HockeyMon, Feb 06 Wayzata4-3 Read StoryW
Girls HockeySat, Feb 04 Totino-Grace9-0 Read StoryW
Boys HockeySat, Feb 04 Spring Lake Park15-0W
WrestlingSat, Feb 04 TBA9th Place
Girls BasketballFri, Feb 03 Spring Lake Park57-39W
Boys BasketballFri, Feb 03 Spring Lake Park67-65 Read StoryW
Girls HockeyThu, Feb 02 Spring Lake Park6-0 Read StoryW
WrestlingThu, Feb 02 Dassel-Cokato21-58L
Girls BasketballTue, Jan 31 Minneapolis Southwest70-38W
Boys HockeyTue, Jan 31 Jefferson7-1 Read StoryW
Click on any sport above to see a full schedule for that sport.
SportDateTimeOpponentLocation
Boys HockeyWed, Feb 08 7:30Shattuck-St. Mary'sShattuck-St. Mary's
Girls BasketballFri, Feb 10 7:15St. Louis ParkSt. Louis Park
WrestlingFri, Feb 10 6:00Chisago LakesHome
Boys HockeySat, Feb 11 2:30Totino-GraceSt. Louis Park
Dance TeamSat, Feb 11 1:00SectionsAustin
Boys HockeyTue, Feb 14 7:00Chisago LakesChisago Lakes
Girls BasketballTue, Feb 14 7:15Columbia HeightsHome
Girls BasketballThu, Feb 16 7:15WaconiaHome
Girls BasketballFri, Feb 17 7:15IrondaleHome
Boys HockeySat, Feb 18 2:30StillwaterSt. Louis Park
WrestlingSat, Feb 18 8:00Section OpponentsTotino-Grace
Girls BasketballTue, Feb 21 7:15St. FrancisHome
Click on any sport above to see a full schedule for that sport.

The invasion of the creepy college letters

Rachel Kaplan
April 27, 2009
Filed under Humor

Ever since discovering the plastic Play-mobile mail center in Community Childcare Center when I was four, I have realized my true love of life: getting mail. Unfortunately, because I have a significant lack of tall, dark, and handsome secret admirers and Australian pen pals, my side of the hall table––where all the incoming mail is to be placed––is usually vacant.

Two weeks ago, however, everything changed.

On the way in from my car on Monday, heavy Calculus book in tow, I spotted a small orange envelope. I was ecstatic––finally, a real letter marked to “Rachel Kaplan,” and everything lay innocently enough on my side of the hall mail table. Ripping open the letter, I read the “Dear Rachel….” and skimmed the rest of the letter telling me I would be the perfect candidate to attend Macalester College. It was boring––but, what the heck––mail was mail. Life was good.

The next day, three letters, all from colleges, waited for me on the table. The day after that: five. Then seven. Then twelve. I was officially a stalking victim of the American education system.

What had once been a happy escape out of my chronic lack of mail was out of control. The letters were creepy, all starting with phrases like “I have my eye on you, Rachel” and “I’ve been tracking your progress.” What was this madness?

Not only did they know my name, but they all had the perfect idea for the rest of my future including trips to Djibouti, environmentally sound bio-spheres, and volunteering with underprivileged children in Serbia. Of course, they weren’t trying to get me to choose their college, just trying to give me a broad range of my “vast educational opportunities.” Yeah right.

Any minute, I expected letters to come flying wildly through the fireplace like in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” If this didn’t come to a stop soon, I would have to nail up the mail slot like Vernon Dursley, lock myself in my room, and never come out, constantly livig in fear of creepy college letters.

Thankfully, over the next couple weeks the mail started lagging until it came to a stop all together– the terror subsided and I could resume my life in peace. Finally, I put my huge cardboard box stuffed with college letters that my mom made me keep in the deepest, darkest corner of the closet. I knew the mail table at my house would never hold such joy for me again.

One day three weeks later, though, a small square envelope from Gakushuin University in Toshima-Ku, Tokoyo appeared on the table. I chucked it in the garbage without a second glance and ran to my up to my room, slamming the door like a madwoman.

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One Response to “The invasion of the creepy college letters”

  1. Ryan Quinlivan Says:

    Ms. Kaplan, if you feel the need to flaunt the fact that you’re in calculus (“heavy Calculus book in tow”), surely your could demonstrate some of your calculus prowess and have the time periods correctly add up. Let me explain:

    You start with “Two weeks ago” and everything is all fine and dandy.

    Next you gently let your readers know that “over the next couple weeks” your mail subsided. This would bring us up to the present, presumably.

    And yet, “One day three weeks later” apparently now that we’re back to the present (two weeks ago + couple (2) weeks later), but you have more in store, you have successfully predicted the future three weeks from the present.

    Please forgive me, but I could not help but become distracted by the annoying discrepancies in the timing of your tale. In the future, maybe don’t demonstrate that you’re in calculus unless you can do some simple addition.

    That is all, since I have to sort my own stack of college mail haha!

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