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Vocations classes host speakers from the Archdiocese

Our Lady of Grace couple Dan and Sheryl Moran spoke to BSM seniors about marriage. (Emma Eldred)

Vocations classes host speakers from the Archdiocese

May 11, 2012

Giulia Imholte and Katie Sisk

The hype turned out to be more than the actual event. In November the Archdiocese announced plans to have speakers on marriage visit all of the Minneapolis/St. Paul Catholic Schools, and what students expected to be a controversial discussion––after reading about the heated question and answer session at DeLaSalle––ended up being an uneventful,... Continue Reading

BSM hockey players weigh options for their future in the sport

Ryan Collins is one of two sophomores that have recently made the decision to play for the U.S. NTDP next school year. (Emily Kruse)

BSM hockey players weigh options for their future in the sport

May 9, 2012

David Nelson and Peter Best, Staff Writers

Hockey is a fast-paced sport that lives off choices that need to be made in milliseconds. It’s a sport where one wrong choice can be the difference between success and failure. Sophomores Jack Glover and Ryan Collins were given the opportunity to play in the USA National Team Development Program (NTDP), based in Ann Arbor, Michigan. This decision... Continue Reading

Shannon Stroh

(Emily Kruse)

Shannon Stroh

May 21, 2012

Leila Aboussir, Online Photography Editor

Lights come up, voices start ringing, and the band starts playing their instruments. Shannon Stroh has been an avid member of the BSM theater department since her entrance into the school, but is rarely seen on the actual stage. Yet, Shannon’s dedication alongside her sarcastic, witty personality has made her an extraordinary member of the tremendous... Continue Reading

Fun. releases ‘Some Nights’ album

The band experimented heavily with hip-hop inspired beats and auto-tune––though Ruess’s crystalline voice doesn’t need it. (Vinyl Records)

Fun. releases ‘Some Nights’ album

May 2, 2012

Lauren Effertz, Staff Writer

Three years after dropping their first album, “Aim and Ignite,” the New York-based indie pop band fun. released “Some Nights.” fun. is a supergroup of sorts; lead vocalist Nate Ruess formed the band after the break-up of The Format, guitarist Jack Antonoff also serves as the frontman for Steel Train, and keyboardist Andrew Dost is from Anathallo. Overall,... Continue Reading

Four speech members place at State tournament

Anna Landis, Juliet Beckstrand, Rachel Hogen, and Sian Last represented BSM at the State Speech tournament where they all placed in the top eight. (Maura Brew)

Four speech members place at State tournament

April 30, 2012

Shannon Galvin, Staff Writer

On Saturday, April 21, BSM speech team members headed to Chanhassen High School to participate in the Minnesota State Speech tournament. At the end of the day, four students, seniors Anna Landis, Juliet Beckstrand, Sian Last, and junior Rachel Hogen, all placed in the finals. Landis placed third in Poetry, Beckstrand placed second in Great Speeches,... Continue Reading

SportDateOpponentResultW/L
Boys LacrosseTue, May 15 Spring Lake Park21-0W
BaseballTue, May 15 Bloomington Jefferson7-5W
SoftballMon, May 14 St. Francis3-4L
BaseballMon, May 14 Fridley13-2W
Boys LacrosseSat, May 12 Minnetonka6-16L
BaseballFri, May 11 St. Louis Park7-3W
SoftballThu, May 10 Blake23-1W
SoftballWed, May 09 St. Louis Park18-6W
Boys TennisWed, May 09 Robbinsdale Armstrong1-6L
BaseballWed, May 09 Irondale10-2W
Boys LacrosseTue, May 08 Totino-Grace13-3W
Girls LacrosseTue, May 08 Spring Lake Park13-11W
Click on any sport above to see a full schedule for that sport.
SportDateTimeOpponentLocation
BaseballMon, May 21 4:15Holy AngelsHome
Boys TrackTue, May 22 NSConference OpponentsTotino-Grace
Girls TrackTue, May 22 NSConference OpponentsTotino-Grace
Girls TrackTue, May 22 NSConference OpponentsTotino-Grace
Boys TrackTue, May 29 Section OpponentsTBA
Girls TrackTue, May 29 Season RecordTBA
Boys LacrosseTue, Jun 05 1:00TBAChanhassen
Girls LacrosseTue, Jun 05 1:00TBAChanhassen
Boys TennisTue, Jun 05 1:00TBABaseline Tennis Center
SoftballThu, Jun 07 1:00TBACaswell Park
Boys TrackFri, Jun 08 TBAHamline University
Girls TrackFri, Jun 08 TBAHamline University
Click on any sport above to see a full schedule for that sport.

The Terrifying Bagel Slicer

Rose Conry
April 16, 2009
Filed under Humor

I hate admitting this, but an inanimate object terrifies my days and haunts my dreams at night.  I try to act brave in the presence of this formidable machine known as a bagel slicer because I cringe at the thought of others grouping me with those who fear napkins, lava lamps, automatic sliding doors, microwaves, nails, escalators, needles, or other equally pathetic items.  My fear of bagel slicers may sound just as lame, but I firmly believe that if society accepts others’ fears of lions or sharks, then there is nothing shameful about my phobia since a bagel slicer can just as easily tear off a human limb.  
 
Actually, a bagel slicer would chop off a body part with even greater ease since the circular shape of its blade allows it to constantly pursue its work. In a fraction of a second, it would slice through skin, rip apart tendons, sever ligaments, and grind through bone, replacing the bagel crumbs that usually gather on its parts with human blood.   While a lion must relax his mouth in order to dig down deeper into your flesh or lick his lips before he devours your arm for dinner, the blade of a bagel slicer never stops for such trivial reasons, making it exponentially more efficient in the art of amputation.  
 
Although I haven’t witnessed a bagel slicer carry out such an act of violence, I know in a matter of time it will lash out against its oppressors, and I foresee myself as the unlucky victim of this aggression. I attempt time and time again to render the bagel slicer slicer helpless.  I throw dozens of its screws into the garbage, hide its blade underneath hundreds of pounds of Swiss cheese, and stick several pieces of gum into the socket that powers it, but somehow every time, the bagel slicer works flawlessly the next time I see it.   
 
Unfortunately, each time I fail, the time grows shorter before the bagel slicer will destroy me, according to interpretation of my dreams, alignment of the stars, and messages in my fortune cookies.  Past messages I found in my fortune cookie include: “Be watchful of sharp teeth and steel blades.” “An accident at work is likely.” “Treasure handshakes and hi-fives.” “Carelessness leads to loss.”  
 
Now, I no longer eat these cookies that carry such frightening fortunes, but perhaps I better forget my paranoia.  I guess I have already begun heading towards recovery by admitting my fear.  I plan to continue my rehabilitation efforts by starting a support group for others that share my fear of bagel slicers or other monstrous machines called Scared of Slicers Anonymous or SSA that meets every Mondays and Thursdays in Room 538 at 7:12 a.m.
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